JUST GOT THIS FOR $.14 ON AMAZON BRAND NEW! (had to share)
1. Never use ''We were on a break" as an excuse
2. Remember it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a BIG deal!
3. Everybody has a lobster
4. Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank
5. For more space in the bed, use the ''hug and roll''technique
6. Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends
7. You can do a lot with just cups and ice
8. Always say the right name at the altar
9. Powder and lotion will not help remove hot and sticky leather trousers.
10. ''Man bags'' ARENT manly
11. Dont count 'mississippily' when in a tanning booth.
12. ''How you doin' '' NEVER fails
13. If stung by a jellyfish, pee on it.
14. Never let a monkey near a TV remote.
15. Only in prision do they 'cup' whilst measuring for pants
16. It's not smelly cats fault
17. Always read make-up letters all the way through, even if they are 18 pages FRONT AND BACK!
18. You should leave your synth keyboard in the 80swhere it belongs.
19. A nap with your best friend could be the best nap you've ever had
20. Never let slip to a child that they are in fact adopted
21. Meat is not an ingredient in trifle
22. There is no such thing as shark porn
23. Your first name is not your family name
24. Throwing your own wake is not a good way to meet women.
25. A 'Day of Fun' is a good way to get to know someone.
26. Everyone has an identical hand twin
27. Eating too much mean can cause 'meat sweats'
28. It's never too late to resurrect the routine, just dont change it.
29. Regina Falange and Ken Adams make great false names.
30. It's possible to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds.
31. When moving a couch upstairs, PIVOT!
32. A silent auction is not a contest to guess the right price
33. Always double check your measurements when making an entertainment unit
34. Playing too much on arcade machines can lead to getting 'The Claw'
35. Ugly, naked and guy do not make for an attractive combination
36. Never pose for a V.D. poster compaign
37. 'Pheebs' is short for phoebe, its not just what we call our friends.
38. Never let a duck and chick near a foosball table
39. Wooden spoons and toy trucks make great massaging tools.
40. Never put your head in a turkey
41. Taping oven mitts to your hands will prevent you from scratching chicken-pox
42. Never bet your apartment in a game of 'who knows who'
43. Don't leave teeth whitening gel on for longer than recommended
44. W.E.N.U.S. stands for... ummmm
45. Everyone is entitled to a 'freebie' list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with if the opportunity arises
46. There are 7 basic erogenous zones. Start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, a 3, a 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7... 7... 7...7 7 7 7 7 7... SEVEN!
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